Saturday, June 30, 2007

Fast Food

My sister in law sent me this email today that was all about fast food, and after viewing the pictures in this email, I was howling. Worst of it is, I can relate to these pictures, and know exactly where this author/photographer is coming from.

How many times have you seen advertising for a fast food joint where they show this picture of a perfect looking burger or whatever, and it looks so damned good that you can't wait to go there and try it out, only to get this sad-assed looking piece of crap that doesn't in the slightest way resemble what you saw on TV, or on some billboard advertising?

I have to share some of the pictures here, because I just found them too bloody amusing not to share!

***Please note (as taken from the original site)***

Each item was purchased, taken home, and photographed immediately. Nothing was tampered with, run over by a car, or anything of the sort. It is an accurate representation in every case. Shiny, neon-orange, liquefied pump-cheese, and all.

Here's a picture of a McDonald's Breakfast Burrito, as they show it in their advertisements...

Looks pretty good, doesn't it? But here's a picture of the actual burrito that was purchased...

Ewww, it's all squishy and sad looking!

How about a Beef 'n Cheddar from Arbys?

Now that looks tasty. Check out that perfect onion bun with the cheddar just oozing nicely atop of that luscious looking beef! Makes me hungry just looking at it! Now here's the picture of the real sandwich purchased...

What happened to the nice fluffy bun? Is that really beef? It looks like a pork sandwich that was sat on, with a little cheese smudging out the edge. Um, I think I'll pass on this. Salad anyone?

Ah, the perfect Big Mac from McDonalds. Who doesn't love a Big Mac?

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. It's truly a work of art, isn't it? Would you like fries with that?

What's this crooked slapped together piece of crap? Oh, that's what a real Big Mac looks like? What happened to the perfectly put together work of art burger in the previous picture? Actually though, when I think about it in my own reality, this real Big Mac doesn't even look as bad as the ones I usually get. Usually the cheese is hanging half way off the bun and stuck to the packaging, and its usually much more crooked than this one. I always have to re-stack my Mac before I bite in!

Last one I'm going to show you is the Whopper from Burger King.

Flame broiled goodness with lots of real produce, even real onions that were never dehydrated and soaked back to life like other fast food McRestaurants! Check out those succulent looking tomatoes. Now this looks great! I couldn't build a better looking burger at home myself!

But wait, what the hell is this? Why it's what I've always referred to whenever I've attempted to eat one of these catastrophes at Burger King -- The Slopper! Ain't nothing Whopper about this nasty looking burger. It's just all slop. And if you think it looks bad here, try and eat one. Just make sure you have a very large stack of napkins to go with your order. You're going to need them when that burger self-destructs. I'm pretty sure the time for destruction goes off the second you touch it. Those thinly sliced mushy tomatoes will be dripping down your arm, and you'll be sure to be left with a big 'ol piece of flame broiled burger without any sloppy toppings or soggy bun for the last bite or two. Burger King my ass!

If you want see more fast food pictures, head over to Jeff Kay's West Virginia Surf Report and check them out. And if you're in to some more laughs and reality, grab a coffee and slide over to his fast food reviews page. You'll probably save lots of money by opting to eat at home after a visit with Jeff!


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