Sunday, October 21, 2007

One in every crowd!

On the radio station I listen to, there is this one broadcaster that has a morning show, and he's hilarious. One of the segments of his show is called "You are an idiot!" What he does here is tell a true story about someone that's done a stupid thing. It could be someone in the media, or just someone he's come across in his daily routine. So he tells the story of what this person does, and then ends it with "You sir/madam are an idiot!", and this funny music plays singing this you are an idiot song.

Well today, I have a "You are an idiot" story of my own. I went to a local home center here to get my laminate flooring for when I do the main part of my house -- the living, dining room and hall. I'm not ready to do this job yet, but they had a sale on this weekend that was too good not to buy it now. We're talking 1/3 off, so I saved about $150 by buying this flooring now! Woohoo!

I needed to get 14 boxes of this laminate, and I would say each box is about 50-60 pounds or so. I know it's not much for you guys and gals that are in shape, but I'm an out of shape, slightly overweight middle aged woman, and they were getting darned heavy after a bit! I had to load them all first onto the cart, then from the cart to my car. Yes! I took them home in my Sunfire! I know I was pushing it to the weight limit, but it was a sale. A sale!! And besides, I wasn't far from home, and just figured I'd take the drive slow and easy.

So I'm driving down the road, with my hazards on, minding my own business. This guy in a truck comes roaring up behind me at a red light. The second the light turned green, he started honking. I hate that! I know the damned light is green already! I don't need a reminder! I start driving, and of course I didn't gun the car because of the overload I'm carrying, but remember, I have my hazards on too! This jerk starts wailing on his horn and waving his arm out his window. What the hell? I looked at my speedometer and I was going the damned speed limit, and those hazard lights aren't flashing for no reason, and, to top it off, there are two lanes with nobody in the left lane, so what the hell is wrong with this guy? Why did he have to carry on like an ass? Why didn't he just switch lanes and pass me? I'll tell you why... because "He is an idiot!" I wanted to stop the car, get out and go slap this idiot! He was pushing my already high progesterone levels through the roof, and I'll tell you one thing guys, to all of you that are like this jerk was, honking and carrying on, don't mess with an out of shape slightly overweight middle aged woman with high progesterone levels! It can be a real ugly experience for you!


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